Insobriety

She holds the stein in her hand,

       the bitter fluid flows through her throat;

       filling her,

       intoxicates her,

       the colorful lights flutter in her skin.

Slowly her consciousness fades;

       her visions blurry,

       her veins throb,

       she feels lighter;

       her concerns evaporate,

       she feels braver;

       her other self takes over.

She lets go of the grasp to reality;

       reality's an empty maze anyway,

       she plunges into the unknown;
       further and further away,
       and never coming back.

Dominion

Maybe it's every mankind's propensity; to dominate, to be the one who holds power, to control everything that carries significant impact. People are competing for this since long ago, as a part of their survival, a basic instinct to give them and their family–even their descendants–the best means to sustain their lives. It doesn't stop there, though. Dissatisfaction and the urge to gain more are what come afterwards. It's not a bad thing for sure, but some people were and are abusing their power and authorities to justify the violation of the rights of weaker people for their own good. They're forgetting the fact that those who are weak too, are human beings with the very same desire to living a good life, seeing their children grow up happily and atop of that, having the free will to choose the methods to acquire those dreams, without anyone's intervention in between.

I had never been a History fan. It's just a mandatory subject that exists in the curriculum although I took Science major in high school. I–and many students in my class–were able to get quite good score by simply memorizing numerous names, dates and events of interest, thus I never took it seriously. However, one chapter that still remains in my memory after so many years is The Colonization Period, as it's repeated over and over again during my school years. No, I'm not going to throw tantrums about how the Dutch monopolized our resources, enslaved our citizens and took over our government for 350 years; or how soon thereafter the Japanese conquest our nation for 3 years, conducted the most inhumane forced labor, sex slavery and even medical experimentation to the people of Indonesia. Those are indeed a painful memory for the victims' family and relatives which can't be easily cured by the culprits' apology or any kind of compensations. But the nation has overcome it after all; declaring independence in the most patriotic way on the edge of World War II despite all the limitations, setting on foot to leap into a new era where others' dominion no longer has the power upon the nation, or so we thought.


People's tendency to dominate is always there, stays with them, some appear subtly while others conspicuous. The problem is no longer what comes upon us but what comes within us. Or else, among us. People of this country have been making effort to rearrange every aspect of life's pieces that had been shattered since the colonialism. Ironically, while some others are fixing up the mess, others are viciously taking advantage out of it; feeding their own mouth using what actually belongs to the people. The worse part is, the scumbags who practice those wicked deeds are the ones who sit in the government office, wearing nice suits, driving expensive cars, flying from Milan to New York City for the so-called tour of duty alongside their wives and kids, all obtained from the tax that citizens are obligated to pay monthly to "develop the country." Meanwhile on the other side of the country, students are struggling to cross the river by holding onto a rope, their shoes and school uniform all drenched as a result of the delayed bridge construction by several months.

Whatever laws created, even the Corruption Eradication Commission (Indonesian: Komisi Pemberantasan Korupsi) created by the government can't seem to significantly confront this issue. Instead, they reenact the despicable act as a member of the agency whose main goal is to supposedly against it. Yet again; dominion. This time it's wickedly blinding the common sense of those people, worse than any colonialism ever happened as they're stealing from their own people's purse. Without any regrets.

As a democratic country, we hold the capability to be freed from this situation using our own voice. Thus, we should not waste this precious opportunity to vote in the next election wisely. Choose the ones who have demonstrated concrete proves; whether it's cutting-off the problematic state officials, spending public money to build and repair various facilities and infrastructure, or even conducting the 'hands-on operation' where they visit secluded location–or sometimes unimaginable place like a sewer construction site–to take a direct look with no hesitation. Yes, I'm talking about the two great figures of Indonesia: one is the now-President of the Country and another one is the now-Governor of the Capital. I see hope in them.

"Humans do have authority over creation—but it is a delegated authority to care for animals as God would and not to destroy them. All life still belongs to the Creator of life, as it did the in the beginning." - Richard A. Young

Turn Back Time

I was tapping my foot anxiously at the small traffic jam that was getting closer as my car went forward. The tapping went faster as the car totally stopped behind the red light which was still tens of meters away, worrying that I might be late for work. To make it worse, my car was facing right off the blazing 07:45 AM sun, blinding my vision for a good few seconds. Shifting my visions away from the scorching sun, I caught a glimpse of a long row elementary school students who were making their way on the sidewalk, wearing their sports uniform, walking pair by pair, super-visioned by an adult‒teacher‒in every 2 meters of the row. It's a common thing to do here since it was Friday morning, where students from public schools or employees of government offices are obliged to do morning exercise in the form of jogging or rhythmic gymnastic.

I couldn't help myself to observe them, watching their every move and behavior. Some of the boys were yelling at the motorcyclists who stopped unwillingly due to the same traffic as I was, calling them 'hey sir,' 'hey loser' and any other childish mockery nicknames. Afterwards they would run a few feet away while giggling around, overjoyed although the teacher started to scold them. Meanwhile some of the girls were picking up dead leaves which scattered on the pathway, secretly putting them on the other girls' hair while holding their laughter. I smiled at the scenes.

The red light turned into green and my car was slowly drifting away from the kids, leaving my mind to start wondering. I used to be that careless, nonchalant kid as they are. Always happy, breaking the rules and not giving a single damn about life's problems. I sighed at the good-old memories. It's totally the opposite of the life that I'm currently living on; I need to be very careful with my action, my words, how I dress, how I handle new things, how I behave when the superior is pointing out my mistakes, how I contain my anger so it doesn't come to surface, how I should maintain my relationship with my colleagues‒whether I like it or not‒for the sake of my peacefulness during 9-hours-a-day and 5-days-a-week work life.

Well, sometimes being a grown-up sucks.

About Being A College Post-Grad

I've just graduated college 3 months ago. I applied for a few jobs, turned down one job offer which I had already been in the last stage of interview, and get accepted at a company which located in my hometown. During these 3 months, I really had the time of my life where I could sleep late after watching the whole season of American TV series or Youtube videos, woke up super-late, only eat whenever I was hungry and occasionally went to the mall or café with my closest friend(s). I'm just a typical lazy girl (or woman?) who's completely spending the free time I had in my plate so well. At least that's what most people see.

Sometimes in between my sleepless nights, I questioned myself whether this is the life that I've been dreaming of all these times or not; graduated from college earlier (it took me 3.7 years to finish college), get a job at one of the biggest local herbal drinking company 3 months after and living a decent life as a salarywoman. The answer is no. Rather than feeling accomplished (well, that only lasts for 3 days after they announced my bachelor degree), I'm feeling kind of empty and...scared. Being a salarywoman is never my dream. I never liked the idea of sitting inside a cubicle from 8 to 5 and being bossed around by people. To make it more specific, I don't like living a monotone life. 

I grew to love challenge in my college days. There was always an unexpected event that occurred to me in every semester. There are more and more people who trusted difficult tasks to me and I did my best to finish them. The difficulty level increased over time and I finished the tasks that I never thought I'm capable of. I was proud and happy. That's it, until I graduated and the excitement of accomplishing things was yanked away from me. I was forced to leave my little circle of happy life and jumped into work that has never been on my bucket list. At this point, you can blame me for being so dumb applying for the job that I don't even love in the first place. Well, it's not that I want to. There were circumstances that I can't explain here which made me do it. Life is always full of surprise, isn't it.

But deep down, I know that somehow I can get through this. My college life has taught me that opportunity will always come to those who seek. Although I don't–or shall I say, haven't–loved this job, I know that it's no coincidence that I'm placed here. Yes, I'm quite a believer so I know that bigger things are already prepared for me.

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope - Jeremiah 29:11